I love my rich friends

Went out for a much-needed gno last night with the regulars. The barkeep concocted this fruity thing for me with pineapple juice and dark and light rum. With an orange slice. All that was missing was a colorful plastic monkey (do they still make them?) and an umbrella. I'm not a very sophisticated drinker.

There were four of us; two live in a tony neighborhood in rather nice homes, with the requisite weekly cleaning woman. They're not snobs by any means. Both grew up in families with money. They're not rich, but they're well-off. They're both very dear friends, and while I can't trash them directly, I can bitch about their lifestyles.

It's always interesting, hearing their stories about their kids and their neighbors' kids, and how life on that end of the economic scale differs from life here in the middle class swamp.

In this particular neighborhood, kids who have summer birthdays are routinely held back a year from school, not because they're not academically able, but so they will be the leaders of the next class of kids. They will be smarter, bigger, faster. It's an intentional parental decision. And there is no such thing as preschool. No, they call it "developmental kindergarten." To give these latecomers the skills necessary to lord it over their classmates with regularly scheduled birthdays.

One friend, L, was moaning about her fear of her 6th grade boy getting a blow job. What??? Apparently the kids are starting younger these days, but since real sex is icky, they start out with oral sex in the middle school. Which, in my mind, can be just as icky, but try explaining THAT to a 6th grader.

"How could you possibly think Bob will get a blow job in 6th grade?" we asked.

"Well, that's what they're doing now. Plus, Bob's so cute and nice."

"No, it doesn't work like that," H explained. "The bad boys get the blow jobs. If your kid is quiet and nice, he'll be sex-free through high school. No need to worry!"

"Or perhaps he'll be gay!"

"Well, that wouldn't eliminate the blow-job problem, would it?"

We all pondered this a moment, our youngsters having sex at an even younger age than WE did (the winner, L, came in at 15. I believe that's statutory rape now. "But I LOVED him!" she said.) And that brought about a collective shudder, as we all reached quickly for our drinks.