when shopping, don't forget the tampoons

Been a little surly lately, and really: who gives a shit about this anyway?

Why, when boys first discover the renegade tampon(wrapped!) that's rolled out from under the driver's seat, they insist on putting it in their mouth and pretending it's a cigarette, and then ask: "What's a tampoon?"

I've noticed that you can't buy a pound of ground beef anymore. It's always something like 1.27 pounds. Even the bigger sizes are off. How the hell do you split a 3.41-pound big pink mass of ground cow? Each half is more than a pound. All the things I can make with ground beef--admittedly, a pretty lame selection--involve a pound of the stuff.

So I pay more for meat I don't want or need. I don't like being manipulated by my supermarket.

Same with coupons. You have to buy 2 of something anymore to use a coupon. I don't WANT to pay $6.00 for 2 of something and save 20 cents. It's stupid. I hate that.

Grocery shopping has always made me nervous, especially if it's crowded. I get very claustrophobic in the supermarket, and hate it when people get in my way. I always try to be civil, but I desperately want to just get in and get out.

I read in a book once that one way to deal with people who leave their carts in the middle of the aisle is to stock your own cart with some embarrassing health and hygiene products, such as Ex-lax, condoms, douche, Bean-O, Depends, etc. and then quickly toss them in the offending cart when you go by. Try it next time you go shopping!