can I get a witness?

I took my usual neighborhood route this morning for my training walk, but doubled it, so I did about 6 miles in about 1 1/2 hours. Not a bad clip. On my second swing around, I passed a group of well-dressed adults: 1 older white gentleman with glasses and a suit; 1 tall, young black guy; and 2 heavyset, middle-age black women. Of course, who else would be walking around the neighborhood in the middle of the morning so nicely dressed, accessorized with notebooks and briefcases--in that particular ethnic/age makeup--but Jehovah's witnesses?

I smiled and nodded and kept moving, quickly, making it more difficult for them to sneak up and tackle me.

On my third swing around, I passed them again. This time, one of the women pleasantly asked if I walked every day.

My ipod wasn't turned up very loud, so I actually heard her question. To prepare my answer, I took off my sunglasses, rather than take out my ipod earplugs.

Now, I had just about passed by the group when she asked this, so I didn't want to stop and really consider my answer, so I said "almost." Which, of course, is a lie. Great way to start the morning, lying to the Jehovah's witnesses. A better answer would have been "no." But, thinking about it, "almost" is one of the most subjective words going, so I stopped feeling guilty and pressed on.

I passed them again on my fourth leg; this time they had split up into same sex pairs and were swooping down on vulnerable neighbors who'd unwittingly left their front doors open.

Now, I really can't imagine this is a productive way to recruit church members: walking around hot and sweaty in their Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes, knocking on doors during the day when people are at work. Honestly, don't you think most people would quickly hunch over to avoid being seen in the windows and run to lock their doors if they saw the Witnesses walking up to their doorstep? Just like they do when they see the Girls Scouts selling cookies, or trick-or-treaters? (Or is that just me?) I mean, it's a new century now. Surely there are better ways of selling a religion.

I also had the pleasure to pass a teenager with his sweat pants pulled down so his boxers were showing. Now, I could never really get on board with the "hello, boxers!" trend, but I thought the idea was that one's pants were 5 times too big, so they would naturally fall off the waist and accumulate at the crotch region, thereby exposing the jaunty boxers. THIS kid, however, was wearing sweat pants with an elastic waist, so he had to purposefully pull them down where they naturally cinch wherever they're pulled down to--in this case, below the ass cheeks, covered by, well, not very happy-looking boxers.

So what exactly is the point in that? It's not a fashion statement; I may be wrong, but I think that look is over, isn't it? It was hot enough where he could've actually just removed his sweat pants and walked around in boxers and nobody would've looked twice. But to deliberately push the pants down to expose your ass...I don't get it. I must be getting old.