Wow, I just noticed I've been posting in a larger font. So old people can read, I guess.
So for those watching at home, the colonoscopy wasn't so bad...but the splitting headache that resulted from not eating and caffeine withdrawal for 2 days was horrible. I was pretty goddamn hungry by the end of it! But the actual...elimination process was not nearly as bad as I'd read...probably given that it was stretched out over 2 days. In any event, the actual procedure and recovery was a walk in the park and an excuse to lie there and do nothing for a little while.
---
I took Jeremy to the Friendly's the other day, kind of a date night thing. He noticed on the back of the menu that Seniors over age 60 could get a free happy ending sundae with their meal.
"Heh heh," he says.
"What?"
"It says here that old people get a happy ending sundae. Get it? Happy ending?"
I DID get it, but I wasn't sure what he was driving at. To Friendly's, it's a 2-scoop sundae. To me and the rest of the world, a happy ending is what happens at the end of a massage, for an extra fee, of course.
"Uh, what do you mean, 'happy ending'? What's so funny about that?"
"A HAPPY ENDING, Mom. Get it????"
Oh, my boy, do you already know what a happy ending is? You're 13! How could you know this?! I didn't know what this was until about a decade ago! Clearly I haven't shielded you from the seedy side of human sexuality!
"What are you talking about, Jeremy?"
"A HAPPY ENDING! Like, they're over 60. They're old. They could die after eating ice cream! So it'd be like their 'happy ending' sundae," he says, and gives me that eye roll that suggests I know absolutely nothing about anything.
So. A happy ending is like when old people die after eating ice cream. Ok then.
Showing posts with label ice cream. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ice cream. Show all posts
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Monday, May 05, 2008
panic at the friendly's
Boo and I went on a date this weekend, which mostly consisted of me buying him stuff. We started at the Asian market, because he's going through this phase. Japanese and Chinese people are so much cooler than we are because they make anime. Something like that.
We continued to Barnes and Noble, then Target, the bike store and finally to Friendly's. He's finally at the age where he feels a little stupid going to Friendly's, but he forgets all about that when the ice cream comes.
So we're finishing up our lunch...he's enjoying his mint chocolate chip and Reese's cup sundae (yech) and I'm having a modest dish of chocolate ice cream (oooh, don't tempt me.) (That's a shout-out to all you MST3k fans out there.) (And that's the first and last time I'll say "shout-out.")
All of a sudden, we notice raised voices next to us, and this rather...well, ugly, yes, I'll call her ugly, woman said, "DON'T CALL ME A TRAMP!" And we turn and watch this altercation going on right next to us: apparently, this ugly woman had changed a kid's diaper in the booth. And I missed it!
But apparently that's what happened, because here's soccer mom and dad and the kids sitting in the booth across from us, which is one up from the diaper booth, and soccer mom is saying, "But you don't DO that! People are EATING!"
"I DO!" yelled the ugly woman, with some authority.
"You're a TRAMP!" said soccer dad.
"Don't call my sister a TRAMP!" the tramp's sister yelled.
Friendly's grew very quiet as the four of them went back and forth like that for a minute. It looked like soccer mom and dad and the Tramp and her sister would come to blows in the Friendly's, ironically.
But then the Tramp family gathered up their stuff and left, leaving soccer mom and the kids visibly shaken by the conflict. Soccer dad didn't even look up. Just sat there and said "Tramp" several times, leaving his wife to do the dirty work: trying to reason with them.
Me, I don't like conflict. If I saw this woman changing a diaper in the booth at Friendly's, I'd figure, you know...this is not the kind of person who would listen to reason anyway, so why bother bringing it to her attention that a BOOTH IN WHICH PEOPLE SIT TO EAT DELICIOUS FRIENDLY'S ICE CREAM is NO PLACE TO CHANGE A DIAPER.
That's why they have parking lots outside, in which to dump said diaper after you've changed it in the van. I'm pretty certain these people leave a trail of dirty diapers lying around wherever they go. Balled up wads of plastic and shit and industrial strength absorbent material that goops up into a gelatinous mess when wet.
Tramps. You've gone and put me off my Friendly's.
We continued to Barnes and Noble, then Target, the bike store and finally to Friendly's. He's finally at the age where he feels a little stupid going to Friendly's, but he forgets all about that when the ice cream comes.
So we're finishing up our lunch...he's enjoying his mint chocolate chip and Reese's cup sundae (yech) and I'm having a modest dish of chocolate ice cream (oooh, don't tempt me.) (That's a shout-out to all you MST3k fans out there.) (And that's the first and last time I'll say "shout-out.")
All of a sudden, we notice raised voices next to us, and this rather...well, ugly, yes, I'll call her ugly, woman said, "DON'T CALL ME A TRAMP!" And we turn and watch this altercation going on right next to us: apparently, this ugly woman had changed a kid's diaper in the booth. And I missed it!
But apparently that's what happened, because here's soccer mom and dad and the kids sitting in the booth across from us, which is one up from the diaper booth, and soccer mom is saying, "But you don't DO that! People are EATING!"
"I DO!" yelled the ugly woman, with some authority.
"You're a TRAMP!" said soccer dad.
"Don't call my sister a TRAMP!" the tramp's sister yelled.
Friendly's grew very quiet as the four of them went back and forth like that for a minute. It looked like soccer mom and dad and the Tramp and her sister would come to blows in the Friendly's, ironically.
But then the Tramp family gathered up their stuff and left, leaving soccer mom and the kids visibly shaken by the conflict. Soccer dad didn't even look up. Just sat there and said "Tramp" several times, leaving his wife to do the dirty work: trying to reason with them.
Me, I don't like conflict. If I saw this woman changing a diaper in the booth at Friendly's, I'd figure, you know...this is not the kind of person who would listen to reason anyway, so why bother bringing it to her attention that a BOOTH IN WHICH PEOPLE SIT TO EAT DELICIOUS FRIENDLY'S ICE CREAM is NO PLACE TO CHANGE A DIAPER.
That's why they have parking lots outside, in which to dump said diaper after you've changed it in the van. I'm pretty certain these people leave a trail of dirty diapers lying around wherever they go. Balled up wads of plastic and shit and industrial strength absorbent material that goops up into a gelatinous mess when wet.
Tramps. You've gone and put me off my Friendly's.
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