talking to dogs

The first on the list of things I do that my boys find annoying is talking to animals. This point was pounded home during our vacation, when I spent a good part of the time talking with my cousin's dog Liberty.

I never thought much about talking to animals, but after they kept complaining that I was spending WAY too much time talking to the dog, I began to wonder.

I know I enjoy it, most of the time, when people talk to me; animals are no different. Their eyes light up when you talk to them, they wag their tails...I usually don't get that kind of enthusiastic reaction from humans.

I'm always talking to my cat Spooky. It's not just a "you're such a pretty girl" type of cooing, but I'll tell her about my day, what I bought at the supermarket, what I'm pissed at...she doesn't answer, of course, although she's extremely empathetic, to the point it almost makes me believe that she's got the soul of an old dead friend inside her. It's a little, well, spooky.

But dogs are my favorite. They like to please, they like attention, just like kids. So naturally, you start rolling around on the floor with a dog, some conversation is bound to go like this:

"Yes! You're a great doggy aren't you! Yes you are! Yes! Yes, you like to give kisses don't you? With that big wet tongue of yours! Yes! Reminds me of my days in college when I dated a guy whose idea of kissing was to ram his tongue down my throat like an angry serpent! Yes! You must know dogs who do that, right? Oh, you're so CUTE! But then HE went on to dump me unceremoniously--or did I dump him, I forget? Anyway, I never really achieved my potential in college! Did you know that? Boy, I regret that NOW! Now that I'm freelancing in about SIX different careers and still not making any money! I wish I could decide what I want to do! Yes I do! Give me those kisses! Grrrr."

Well, the boys see that and cringe with embarrassment, and later, one actually pulled me aside and said, "Mom, you shouldn't talk so much to the dog."

"Let me guess. Do I embarrass you?"

"Yeah."

"Tough."

I guess talking to dogs is cheaper than therapy.