Oh, my, lots of life just zoomed by.
I got a MacBook. YAY! I love Apple!
Slide show was a success, thank you. Yay Keynote! Frigging suckass powerpoint is officially history.
Just finished up Tri-County weekend, in which the boys swam respectably and the adults, most notably those from Pheasant Run, acted like chimpanzees in the stands, hooting and hollering and going "oooo ooooo oooo" each time one of their swimmers finished an event. But I overheard an account of their team cheating during a meet, in which the other team's relay won on the touch, and proven on film, but by the time the cards made their way to the announcer, the outcome had been changed to reflect a Pheasant Run win. And with that event win, they won the meet. Oh, did I mention Pheasant Run cheated? Wow, sorry.
It's just like baseball. Parents ruin everything. They get into fisticuffs with other parents. They take over kids sports with their scheming and conniving and let's try this fancy play in which we fake it to the third baseman, and then the first baseman acts like he has the ball but doesn't, in an attempt to draw the runner and catch him off base. I frigging HATE that. It's not baseball by subterfuge. It's not baseball by illusion. It's just baseball. You pitch it, you hit it, you field it, you run the bases, you're out, you score a run. That's it. That's all it should be.
But these coaches huddle around with their trick plays, in effect making kids on the other team feel foolish and, well, tricked...what does that prove to their own team? That the game can't be won unless you humiliate the other team. Football has a couple of tricky plays, but everyone knows them. In baseball, these guys have secret meetings, devising these schemes, spending hours training their kids how to run them. And yeah, they often work. But at what cost? So these ego-driven, doughy middle age guys playing baseball vicariously through their own children get to play a little one-upsmanship against a bunch of 10-year-olds?
That's it, that's the driving force in kids' sports these days: coaches want bigger dicks.
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10 comments:
Even the women coaches...
H.
Well, I can't speak for other women coaches, but I personally reveled--well, to the best of my limited ability--in my femininity during games, wearing tight jeans or some figure-hugging Under Armor shirt that accentuated my mom-bags. My trick, of course, was to distract the other coaches--all men--and render them unable to trick US.
How'd that work out for you? Maybe I'll give it a try next season. Oh, that's right...I don't coach anymore!!
H.
Please. What's more horrifying than a 40-something-year-old woman coach in a tight Under Armor shirt that does little to hide her mom-bags? I know! 40-something-year-old men coaches with thick mustaches, aviator sunglasses, short shorts from 1985 and a LaCoste polo shirt. With the alligator. We HAD to focus on the game, because we were all so collectively horrifying.
No, I had to watch a game being coached by a man in a tie-dyed t-shirt that was obviously from his youth when he was smaller. You left out butt crack and belly overhang.
H.
not having done any coaching, those days are long behind me but i can remember some interesting games of phi's - like the one when he was 11 or so and played clearview in basketball and we stunk but their team had a meltdown spurred by their parents' abhorrent behavior in the stands which lead to several technical fouls and clearview blew like a 100 point lead and lost. After the game several clearview parents taking swings at ours - my ex was one that happened to be in the way and the cops were called. In case you're wondering, the rest of the cv parents were chewing out their kids asses for losing. m
ok, now I'm on a roll - one no, two, more. This was little league and our kids were decent but really stepped it up in the playoffs. we beat glassboro to get into playoffs and then ended up meeting them again in the championship series and our coach and assistant coach had a shouting match which led to fisticuffs in the middle of the game - that was fun. oh, we lost.
Parents getting completely and offensively out of control at soccer games was pretty much run of the mill but it wasn;t until I moved to Haddonfield that we were actually all sent to our cars for the duration of the game. One of the mom's whose son got taken out pretty roughly with no call ran onto the field and in her beautiful sweet hf mom voice told the ref....."you are not a nice person" that did it! to the cars
BAHAHAHHAHA. Banished to your cars? That's funny! We've had guys in town beating each other up, getting restraining orders on each other...the other team doesn't even enter into it.
Nah, my worst moment coaching was when the Paulsboro girls all spat on their hands at the end of the game at the lineup. Well, that and the name-calling and all. Who the hell teaches them to do that? I had a nice little sit-down with my girls after that and made them all sign their names in their own blood that they would never do that to another team.
If I saw girls spitting on their hands before the line-up, I probably would have led mine with mace, or a bat. I guess that's why I don't coach - or never had the inclination to teach. Zero tolerance for scumbags
How did you handle it?
well, it was kind of after the fact, but I sat them down and told them all about that kind of bush league behavior, and how they're better than that. My girls may have done all that goofy cheerleading crap in the dugout, and very occasionally might have disputed a call (mostly by whining) but they never called names or did that kind of low-class crap. I'd have benched them if they did.
The second time we played Paulsboro, one of their gals pushed right into our first baseman, without cause. I've learned to mostly keep my mouth shut, but that time, I came right out onto the field and started hollering at the ump about it. I scared myself! I forget what came of it, but she was reprimanded in some way or another. Ooooh, that'll teach her.
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