Ok, this is probably the most absurd commercial I've seen.
You know the one: where the mini pad is riding the mechanical bull? Maybe it's a panty liner. It hardly matters.
And why not? I know the first thing I want to do after I've stuck the thing to the crotch of my underwear is ride a mechanical bull. My crotch really craves that rough stuff at the peak of its flow!
Sanitary pads (or "napkins" as they were so graphically named way back when, when sensitive mothers explained this mysterious find to their children after finding them prying in the cabinet beneath the sink: "Yes, Billy, it's called a napkin, but not the kind you wipe your chin with." "And Billy, by the way, that's "chocolated" Ex-Lax, it's not real chocolate. Well, heh, heh, you'll find out soon enough.") have really evolved so much over the years. When I started menstruating, I needed a damn contractor's toolbelt and an instruction manual to strap this brick-like thing on. Now they can go swimming and ride horseback and mechanical bulls all by themselves!
And, really, why should I have all the fun? Hey, mini pad, get on the bull and ride! It's fun! Yee-haw!
I'm a tampon gal myself. But sometimes a gal likes that extra layer of protection. And when I go supermarket shopping for mini pads, I think, "hmmm. What brand of mini pad would be a better mechanical bull rider? So many choices. Do I go with the extra-longs? The extra absorbent? That would make sense. The ultra-breathable? The freshly-scented?"
And then, of course, the choice becomes obvious. The winged mini pad. Of course! The wings keep the mini-pad from flying off the mechanical bull! It's genius! The wings must have spurs built in!
But wait. Unless...the wings help the mini pad..go flying off the mechanical bull! Because, well, they're wings, after all.
Geez, it could go either way. I don't think I'd be having this debate about tampons. Have you ever seen a tampon trying to balance itself on a mechanical bull? They fly off, they climb back on, they go flying off...it's pathetic. They shouldn't even try.
At the end of the commercial, I was told to "have a happy period." Is there any other kind? God, I'm ecstatic when I'm on the rag. I can't think of anything I'd rather do than down a few shots, strap on my winged mini pad and go hump a mechanical bull.
And that's just on a Monday night. Imagine what me and my mini pad would be capable of on the weekend! Just me and my high-flyin' bull-ridin' mini pad! Yee haw!
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9 comments:
I will pay good money for a video of you riding a mechanical bull. Your call on whether or not you want to be menstruating during the shoot.
Geez, you're up early.
Well, prepare to pay up. Give me a few minutes to download it from Youtube.
I'm sure the concept of a mini pad riding a mechanical bull was concocted in the warped brain of some sadly uneducated male ad guy. I mean, really: who is this commercial intended for?
Maybe it's for the occasional male who's forced to buy feminine hygiene products for their wives/girlfriends. Why not air it during football games? Hell, why not strap a football helmet onto the mini pad and make it play animated mini pad football with an entire TEAM of mini pads! THAT would show how tough and absorbent it is.
I'd lay money that at some time in her life Car has ridden a mechanical bull, no odds on whether she had a minipad on though.
Next commercial should be showing the beach volley ball chicks playing in maxipads - just to show how they can be very small and absorbent too. Of course I have yet to see one that isn't the size of a depends and could actually get you through the night. mar
Great idea! And be sure to get those close-up crotch shots where they're jumping up to spike the ball.
I'd like to see one where the mini pad is an Olympic gymnast. It could jump from one uneven parallel bar to the other, do tricks on the balance beam...then our winner receives the gold medal on the podium, surrounded by the bronze (a huge uncomfortable maxi pad) and and silver (a leaky tampon).
Wow. I'm spending way too much time thinking about this.
I don't know the abbreviation for rolling on the floor laughing - but if I had any energy left that's what I'd be doing. Yes, I think perhaps you've invested a bit too much time in the panti liner realm. In your hands though, it's a much funnier place than usual.
Mini pad, mini pad, why so glum?
You should be out and having fun!
Mini pad, mini pad, don't be dull,
Take a ride on a mechanical bull!
Carey,
You're scary.
H.
My guess is that we'll have more poetry in...oh, I dunno...28 days or so?
Giddyup!
I wish. Try 24.
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