Friday, January 19, 2007

vibrating invisible man

I received a catalog in the mail yesterday and was intrigued by its contents, which range from sex toys and excessive ear wax removers to bidet sprays and support hose. Not sure exactly who the targeted audience is for this particular catalog--perhaps elderly, incontinent sex slaves.

Anyway, I thought I’d share some of the featured products in the next few posts.




What lucky lady wouldn’t want to have a vibrating invisible man of her very own? All the features a woman wants in a man, without all those pesky unwanted traits, like flatulence and the inability to pick up one’s socks.

The clear 4 ½” sleeve hugs the penis, so you don’t have to!

The super-stretchy ridges delight your partner, no matter what orifice they’re placed into. No need to brush afterward; the vibrating action whisks away tarter buildup.

A testicle strap fits snugly to help prolong erection even when there is none, providing long periods of monumental discomfort followed by short swells of groin-bursting pain.

Add the vibrating mini-bullet— fun and dangerous at the same time! —and feel its multi-speed vibrations travel throughout the entire sleeve, creating the sensation of being fucked by a gerbil!

Requires 3 button cell batteries, and we’ll throw in 3 more free because we know you’ll be taking that vibrating mini-bullet with you everywhere—“for added pleasure.”


Up next: Yam cream

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just want to know how anyone could look at that thing and come up w/ sex as it's purpose!
Mental picture: that puppy strapped on and ready for action.
I would think the ensuing laughter would erase all chances of the advertised product working.
H

carey said...

Yeah, I agree. When I first saw it, it reminded me of that "Stackers" cups game.

Mike said...

I WANT to write a comment, but I'm unable to.

carey said...

What? WHAT?

Anonymous said...

I saw the catalog graphic on your MY PICTURES SLIDESHOW screen saver. Mom, what's a testicle strap?

Anonymous said...

After reading the ad, there was no need for further comment!

Oh, and I hear that the only way you get those sent to your house is if you've already been purchasing such naughty (or disgusting) things via online or snail mail.....Hmmm?!?!?

carey said...

Then how do you explain my ongoing mysterious subscription to "Yachting" magazine?

Anonymous said...

It must have been the hammertoe website you visited

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, I wonder if they sell those on Rte. 130? You oughta send some of these to Leno! L.

carey said...

Perhaps a GNO is in order for the sole purpose of drunkenly running amok---disguised, of course, in our penis nose-and-glasses--in some of those places.