cheap sunglasses

For the record, I'm now a managing editor of an unimportant in the grand scheme of things medical magazine, all the while continuing to freelance write (in my spare time!) dry, clinical articles about...advanced gastric cancer and why docetaxel is a beast (www.hemonctoday.com/...it's the cover story!)

I'll be there for a few months until, well, I don't know. Recent events have necessitated a giant rethink about life in general, and what the hell I'm going do with it now.

Deep thinking isn't one of my strong points.

So the other day I went to Target to get Target stuff. I needed sunglasses. I refuse to pay a lot for sunglasses because they invariably get lost or broken.

Sunglasses always look a little askew on my head, I think because my ears must be crooked. They never seem to sit straight across my face.

And what's the deal with those huge 60s-style sunglasses? Who felt the need to resurrect that look? It's frigging stupid. There are some ugly-ass sunglasses out there.

Generally, when you go to buy sunglasses, it's not because you have a bunch of new, previously purchased sunglasses waiting around in a pile at home. When you buy sunglasses, you need them NOW because you don't have any. You drive around squinting for a week until you finally decide, yeah, I need sunglasses. I think I'll get some now.

So you get back in the car and eagerly grab the sunglasses from the bag because you don't want to go another day without them. But because of advanced adhesive technology, getting the damn sticker off the sunglasses that you want to wear RIGHT NOW is impossible. The sticky tag folds onto itself, creating an impenetrable bond that clenched teeth cannot chew through. And even if you manage to get the sticky tag off, the super adhesive stays on the frame, encouraging whatever hair or lint or whatever is flying around the air to stick to it.

Or, with the other pair...the tag is attached with the dreaded loopy-plastic tag holder thing. Sure, maybe you could cut it with scissors or a knife, if you kept those things in the car. But you don't. The paper tag detaches easily enough from the plastic loopy thing, leaving the plastic thing firmly looped around the frame, conveniently located right around the nosepiece, where everyone can see it because you don't give a shit anymore, you just put them on anyway because all you needed was a pair of DAMN SUNGLASSES. NOW.

Fortunately, you remembered to peel off the UV protection label from the lens. Didn't you?